"What the caterpillar calls the end of life, wise men call a butterfly."

Next month, Dubya plans to announce a new mental health plan called the "New Freedom Initiative." Are you scared yet? Is this going to be anything like "Healthy Forests" or "Clean Air"?

Part of the plan is to screen every American, including you, for mental illness. Children and teachers will be the first to be screened. Then they'll work their way through the population until every person deserving of Prozac is getting their proper dose. Once we're all on antipsychotics and antidepressants, let's face it, we're all a little mental at times, there's no reason to be worried any more. Everything will be taken care of for you by the wonderful people of the political/pharmaceutical alliance that's cooked up this plan.

I don't know about you, but if the New Freedom Commission on Mental Health really is put into effect, I'll be voting with my feet.